Remember when I said, “Hey, I’m gonna be a blogger!” but then I hardly ever blogged? It shouldn’t be that hard to remember, unless you are Dori the-short-term-memory-losing fish, because it is happening currently, as I type. Or right before I typed, and right after, because technically by typing, I am in fact blogging, which invalidates the entire premise of this post. I am, clearly, an unreliable narrator.
Why haven’t I written anything lately, you, my two readers who still are reading even though I am a terrible blogger and never write anything (hi mom), ask? Well, this a very philosophical question. The answer? Partially, because I am a type five on the Enneagram, and sometimes I have a lot of vision but not a lot of follow through, so I have like 16 half-written posts waiting to be finished and posted. Partially, because March was overall a really good month but also a month with a lot of processing that exhausted me. And partially, because I have been doing other things, okay? Like, I’m a cool person. I have a life. I do stuff. Here are ten riveting examples of stuff I’ve done when I should have been blogging:
Watched good television. Being the zeitgeisty person I am, I overall enjoyed the dark and nihilistic True Detective — up until the last ten minutes, which were disappointingly and disjointedly saccharine. And Mad Men is back!
Watched bad television. Let’s not talk about Cake Boss, okay?
Prepared to move. Not very far, but still. The house-hunting (which I didn’t even do that much of, it was mostly my roommate – thanks, T!), the application-filling, the Goodwill-giving, the boxes-filling, the avoiding-boxes-filling… It’ll be nice once we’re settled in our adorable new place, but ugh. Of all first world problems, moving is the worst. Hear me now, Internet, never am I ever moving again!
Worried. As you might guess from the previous paragraph, my life is in transition right now, and not all the plotlines are tied up neatly. So I’m worrying more than usual about, like, paying bills, and whether I’m a competent adult or ever will be. Cheery over-personal tidbit: I used to repress all my anxiety and a lot of my emotions and never really felt or acted stressed. It was the best I could do at the time, but it was definitely unhealthy. Since allowing myself to feel again, I’ve discovered anxiety is a real bitch, and it’s strange that this is good and better than repressing emotions, because it feels worse, in the moment. It’s an upside-down world we live in, sometimes.
Read books. I don’t know how I read so much in high school. I guess repressing emotions frees up a lot of time? Ha, ha. But I’ve managed to get through some great stories over the past couple of months, which I will include in the next What I’m Into — if I ever do a What I’m Into again, since apparently I hardly ever blog anymore.
Gone to church. Not a lot, but some. Since I am, as mentioned, moving, even though I’m not moving super far, I have not necessarily been looking for a “home church” where I’ve been living, but I’ve wandered into one off and on throughout the Lenten season, and it’s been an oasis for my nomad soul.
Met people. At the Faith and Culture Writers conference, at coffee shops, at smaller events. Since I have an weird schedule and an introverted temperament, this has been an unusual amount of meeting people. But, you know, people can be nice and stuff, so yay.
Written a lot. Despite the radio, er, blog silence, this isn’t really a dry spell creatively for me. I’ve been writing flash fiction and personal essays (is there a less-pretentious-sounding way to term that?) and good old journaling. Hopefully soon I will publish blog posts again, but for now I’m okay just writing for myself and for improvement.
Art journaled. I’m doing a Story Sessions collective (basically a 40-day, small group workshop) on art journaling, something I’ve dabbled in but never felt skilled at. The last couple years, I’ve seen people on the Internet post deeply meaningful, gorgeous pages they’ve made, and it’s been both intimidating and inspiring. This collective has been awesome for me because Elora and Jamie have emphasized the process over the product, and it has allowed me to prioritize creativity (though, honestly, it’s also a tad bit stressful when I’ve let it be, because it feels like another “should” in my life, like homework).
Ignoring “shoulds.” I “should” be doing a lot of things, but sometimes self-care looks like rearranging priorities and ignoring a few of those “shoulds.” For instance, I have not been blogging, even though I “should” be blogging because I have a blog and enjoy writing and the conversations that come from things I write and things other people write on other blogs and things other people write on non-blogs, and the circle of life is just beautiful like that. Speaking of the circle of life, do you think The Lion King is on Netflix? Asking for a friend, cause, you know, I’m a cool person and do stuff besides Netflix or, um, blogging.