Category purity & sex

how to seduce an unconscious girl

People arrive at this blog through all sorts of bizarre Google searches. Some make no sense in relation to the content of my writing (“hilarious letter to midwife,” “snoopy love glitter”) and some kind of do but still make me laugh (“are coffee shops in churches selfish,” “why christian boys shouldnt wear skinny jeans”). Because of […]

Immodest Proposals: Brothers and sisters

Let’s talk about how the modesty rules affect relationships. I would contend modesty-conscious girls relate to people differently than anyone else — but not necessarily better. In Christianity, there’s a long history of referring to other believers as brothers- or sisters-in-Christ, as, the doctrine goes, we are all adopted by God the Father into his […]

Immodest Proposals: An introduction

In days of old, some Mesopotamian philosopher, probably King Solomon, claimed there is nothing new under the sun. If you’ve ever doubted the truth of that sentiment, just join a social media platform. Every few months — like clockwork, like sunsets, like seasons — some blogger writes a post about modesty, and thousands of moms share […]

Bathsheba and the myth of unconscious seduction

“The Scripture says ‘[David] was a man after God’s own heart.’ He was a man who wanted to please the Lord. He didn’t get up that morning and say, ‘I think I’m going to lust after a woman. I think I’m going to commit adultery. I think I’m going to kill this man so I […]

It is February and I am single

It is February and I am single. I don’t have much to say about that, but I feel that I should. Many writers I enjoy do. Cara Strickland comes up with insightful things to say pretty much weekly in Single Minded Mondays. Leigh Kramer has written about how her life as a single thirtysomething is […]

Guard Your Heart, Part III: Fear vs. discretion

“Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.” C.S. Lewis, “The Four Loves“ After graduating college, I lived with a couple of good friends. At the time, […]

Guard Your Heart, Part II: Emotional impurity isn’t real

Let’s jump right in. Here’s my big question about Emotional Purity: What is it? Purity, in the general sense, is the absence of impurity or contamination. A diamond is pure or it is flawed. A dog is 100% poodle or a mixed breed. Sexual purity, in the Christian tradition, is the absence of sexual sin. […]

Guard Your Heart, part I: I did, and I regret it

“Are you dating anyone right now?” My drivers ed teacher, Mrs. Schofield, was a stern, opinionated, and very direct woman. She peered over her glasses and left shoulder at me, an eyebrow raised, expecting a direct reply. “I don’t believe in dating during high school,” I responded from the backseat. “There’s not really any point. […]

On sex, the church, and chewing gum

Last week, abduction and rape survivor Elizabeth Smart spoke at a John Hopkins human trafficking forum, explaining why she didn’t try to cry out for help or try to escape during her nine-month ordeal: because she “felt so dirty and so filthy” after being raped. Raised in a religious community, she had been taught the […]